enough
**Disclaimer: When you read my blog, if you feel like crying because you can relate to a post, I'll bring the tissue. If something you read causes you to laugh hysterically because you've been there, and you know everything turns out funny after it sets in a few days, go ahead and laugh. Cry uncontrollably and laugh loudly because you know I am. When you read this and want to judge me, go ahead. I'm serious. If you want to take a single line or a single picture from a post and use that to define my parenting skills, my relationship with my husband or my relationship with my Savior, go ahead. I can't stop you.**
I say these things because, for the last few weeks, I have been intentionally trying to live in the freedom I've been given. The freedom that tells me I'm enough. It wasn't a New Year's Resolution - it just kind of happened. And I like it. A lot.
Let me paint you a picture: Right now, there are two loads of little bitty laundry on my kitchen table, one on top of the dryer and one in the dryer waiting to come out. There are also two more loads patiently crying to be washed, folded and put away. Last night's supper dishes are sitting in the sink and I have yet to unload the dishwasher from two days ago. I also have a recliner in my living room in desperate need of a steam cleaning after it fell victim to projectile spit-up last night. Instead of focusing on those things, I played with blocks yesterday, had a dance-off with my toddler and sang lullabies to my newborn as she fought sleep.
Here's the soundtrack that's inspiring me to write: a snoring husband, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" coming from Aubrey's room, and Avery's contented sighs coming from her swing in the living room. (There are also two dogs in my back yard barking constantly. Honestly, I'm surprised one of my neighbors hasn't "accidentally" shot them with a pellet gun. Not necessarily inspiring, but part of the soundtrack nonetheless.) No one needs me - yet - so I'm taking time out for me. And I'm doing so in the freedom that only comes from having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I'm free to shirk responsibilities or do whatever I want without regard for the well being of anyone else. What I am saying is I'm free to have a less-than-spotless house, too much creamer in my cup of coffee, teeth that haven't been brushed yet and bed hair to top it all off. Give me a break if you're judging - it's 5:26 in the morning.
My lesson in freedom has taught me that I'm enough. Me, right here, morning breath and all. I am enough and I'm worth it. God made that evident when He sent His Son to die a brutal death for me. Maybe you have this motherhood thing all figured out. Maybe your Pinterest boards are full of DIY stuff you've actually attempted instead of just dreamed about. Maybe you're already rocking your pre-baby body. Maybe you already have tonight's supper in the Crock Pot. To you, I say congratulations. I really mean it. To the rest of you who, like me, don't have it all together and tied up in a pretty bow, to you who fail your families and your Savior on a daily basis, I say to you that you're enough. You, right there, just the way you are.
I say these things because, for the last few weeks, I have been intentionally trying to live in the freedom I've been given. The freedom that tells me I'm enough. It wasn't a New Year's Resolution - it just kind of happened. And I like it. A lot.
Let me paint you a picture: Right now, there are two loads of little bitty laundry on my kitchen table, one on top of the dryer and one in the dryer waiting to come out. There are also two more loads patiently crying to be washed, folded and put away. Last night's supper dishes are sitting in the sink and I have yet to unload the dishwasher from two days ago. I also have a recliner in my living room in desperate need of a steam cleaning after it fell victim to projectile spit-up last night. Instead of focusing on those things, I played with blocks yesterday, had a dance-off with my toddler and sang lullabies to my newborn as she fought sleep.
Here's the soundtrack that's inspiring me to write: a snoring husband, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" coming from Aubrey's room, and Avery's contented sighs coming from her swing in the living room. (There are also two dogs in my back yard barking constantly. Honestly, I'm surprised one of my neighbors hasn't "accidentally" shot them with a pellet gun. Not necessarily inspiring, but part of the soundtrack nonetheless.) No one needs me - yet - so I'm taking time out for me. And I'm doing so in the freedom that only comes from having a relationship with Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I'm free to shirk responsibilities or do whatever I want without regard for the well being of anyone else. What I am saying is I'm free to have a less-than-spotless house, too much creamer in my cup of coffee, teeth that haven't been brushed yet and bed hair to top it all off. Give me a break if you're judging - it's 5:26 in the morning.
My lesson in freedom has taught me that I'm enough. Me, right here, morning breath and all. I am enough and I'm worth it. God made that evident when He sent His Son to die a brutal death for me. Maybe you have this motherhood thing all figured out. Maybe your Pinterest boards are full of DIY stuff you've actually attempted instead of just dreamed about. Maybe you're already rocking your pre-baby body. Maybe you already have tonight's supper in the Crock Pot. To you, I say congratulations. I really mean it. To the rest of you who, like me, don't have it all together and tied up in a pretty bow, to you who fail your families and your Savior on a daily basis, I say to you that you're enough. You, right there, just the way you are.
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