Six Things I Learned About Mother's Day
OK, you're looking at the date on this and saying to yourself, "Doesn't she know she's a week late?!" Yes. Yes I do. But I have two full-time daughters and a full-time job that is winding down toward summer so this is the first moment of peace I've had to write in a very long time. A. Very. Long. Time.
This Mother's Day hit me harder than in previous years. I've celebrated Mother's Day for 31 years as a daughter and 4 years as a mom, but something about this year gave me a new perspective. Call it maturity, call it getting older, call it pregnancy hormones. I'm not sure. All I know is I found myself lost in thought several moments throughout the day and I've got to put these on paper.
#1: Mother's Day is Tough on Dads
Laying in bed on Mother's Day night, my husband asked me if I felt like he did enough. When I questioned him, he mentioned seeing all these pictures of gifts on social media and hearing stories of celebration plans at church. It broke my heart. Here was the good-looking, hard-working love of my life afraid that he had not honored me enough on my special day. Dads, I'm sorry you feel pressured to measure up and spend weeks preparing the perfect Mother's Day surprise. That's not fair.
#2: I Really Just Want a Nap
To go along with #1, moms really aren't as difficult as we may come across. Yes, we pin ideas on Pinterest of luxurious vacations and fancy dinner ideas, but more than half of those are completely unrealistic. I would give anything for an hour-long nap while my husband takes care of the kids. Some moms would like free access to the bathroom and permission to lock the door knowing that someone on the other side has the little people handled. Others want to go shopping by themselves or with a best friend and trust that the house will not be demolished when they return. So ask your wife what she really wants. She just might surprise you (and save you months of planning and a few hundred bucks).
#3: Being Mom is Crazy Hard
Did she break her arm or just sprain it? Is her fever high enough to warrant a doctor's visit? Did I really just let her eat a sucker for dinner? Should I request her teacher for next year? How much should I intervene when she's not getting along with her friend? She's talking to boys? She's only four!
Did she just... yes, she just picked up a goldfish with her toes and ate it.
These questions and more have invaded my thoughts in the past month. To be honest, I did not expect this kind of pressure so soon and sometimes I'm tempted to think I'm not equipped. I'm not enough. I do not measure up to the mom down the street who seemingly has is all together. Being full-time working mom is even harder. I'm not a victim here. Working is a necessity for our family, so I've accepted it and found a job I love. I won't lie though; there are days that I want to stay home with my baby girls so I'll be sure not to miss a moment of their growing up. They are only little for such a short time and there is a lot of pressure to document every milestone and record every event.
#4: Moms Come in a Variety of Forms
Birth moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, stepmoms, grandmas standing in as moms... the list goes on and on. I've found a new respect for women who step in and become the mother when another mom steps out. Choosing to be a mom is a beautiful thing. Much love for those who selflessly chose to become mommies.
#5: Motherhood is a Community
I cannot do this mom thing alone. I will absolutely suffocate to death if I try to make every decision without seeking the wise counsel of women who have walked this road before me. That takes laying down my pride, something I'm not ever going to win an award for. God has been working on that for a while and I have seen His hand move in a mighty way these past few weeks. My mom, mother-in-law, friends at school and ladies I worship with on a weekly basis have all been teaching (through words and actions) what it means to be a godly wife and mom. I'm thankful to have women in my life who I can be vulnerable with, ugly cry with and share my heart.
#6: I Am the Mom God Designed for My Kids
In His amazingly thorough plan that has been in place since the creation of the universe, God designed for me to be the mother of Aubrey Evelyn, Avery Marie and Austin Landon (coming in August). Me. No one else. So when I'm tempted to think I'm not enough or I'm overwhelmed with the responsibility these wonderful little people bring, I look to Him. Sometimes it's easier than others. Sometimes I have to physically turn my head away from the pressure and tilt it upward to regain focus. That's usually during bath time when I've been splashed one too many times. I start praying out loud for patience and wisdom and my girls look at me like I have two heads, but they calm down because it scares them. Honestly though, it's an humbling experience to know He has a plan for these babies and He has chosen me to be a part of it. This is the most important lesson about Mother's Day.
This Mother's Day hit me harder than in previous years. I've celebrated Mother's Day for 31 years as a daughter and 4 years as a mom, but something about this year gave me a new perspective. Call it maturity, call it getting older, call it pregnancy hormones. I'm not sure. All I know is I found myself lost in thought several moments throughout the day and I've got to put these on paper.
#1: Mother's Day is Tough on Dads
Laying in bed on Mother's Day night, my husband asked me if I felt like he did enough. When I questioned him, he mentioned seeing all these pictures of gifts on social media and hearing stories of celebration plans at church. It broke my heart. Here was the good-looking, hard-working love of my life afraid that he had not honored me enough on my special day. Dads, I'm sorry you feel pressured to measure up and spend weeks preparing the perfect Mother's Day surprise. That's not fair.
#2: I Really Just Want a Nap
To go along with #1, moms really aren't as difficult as we may come across. Yes, we pin ideas on Pinterest of luxurious vacations and fancy dinner ideas, but more than half of those are completely unrealistic. I would give anything for an hour-long nap while my husband takes care of the kids. Some moms would like free access to the bathroom and permission to lock the door knowing that someone on the other side has the little people handled. Others want to go shopping by themselves or with a best friend and trust that the house will not be demolished when they return. So ask your wife what she really wants. She just might surprise you (and save you months of planning and a few hundred bucks).
#3: Being Mom is Crazy Hard
Did she break her arm or just sprain it? Is her fever high enough to warrant a doctor's visit? Did I really just let her eat a sucker for dinner? Should I request her teacher for next year? How much should I intervene when she's not getting along with her friend? She's talking to boys? She's only four!
Did she just... yes, she just picked up a goldfish with her toes and ate it.
These questions and more have invaded my thoughts in the past month. To be honest, I did not expect this kind of pressure so soon and sometimes I'm tempted to think I'm not equipped. I'm not enough. I do not measure up to the mom down the street who seemingly has is all together. Being full-time working mom is even harder. I'm not a victim here. Working is a necessity for our family, so I've accepted it and found a job I love. I won't lie though; there are days that I want to stay home with my baby girls so I'll be sure not to miss a moment of their growing up. They are only little for such a short time and there is a lot of pressure to document every milestone and record every event.
#4: Moms Come in a Variety of Forms
Birth moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, stepmoms, grandmas standing in as moms... the list goes on and on. I've found a new respect for women who step in and become the mother when another mom steps out. Choosing to be a mom is a beautiful thing. Much love for those who selflessly chose to become mommies.
#5: Motherhood is a Community
I cannot do this mom thing alone. I will absolutely suffocate to death if I try to make every decision without seeking the wise counsel of women who have walked this road before me. That takes laying down my pride, something I'm not ever going to win an award for. God has been working on that for a while and I have seen His hand move in a mighty way these past few weeks. My mom, mother-in-law, friends at school and ladies I worship with on a weekly basis have all been teaching (through words and actions) what it means to be a godly wife and mom. I'm thankful to have women in my life who I can be vulnerable with, ugly cry with and share my heart.
#6: I Am the Mom God Designed for My Kids
In His amazingly thorough plan that has been in place since the creation of the universe, God designed for me to be the mother of Aubrey Evelyn, Avery Marie and Austin Landon (coming in August). Me. No one else. So when I'm tempted to think I'm not enough or I'm overwhelmed with the responsibility these wonderful little people bring, I look to Him. Sometimes it's easier than others. Sometimes I have to physically turn my head away from the pressure and tilt it upward to regain focus. That's usually during bath time when I've been splashed one too many times. I start praying out loud for patience and wisdom and my girls look at me like I have two heads, but they calm down because it scares them. Honestly though, it's an humbling experience to know He has a plan for these babies and He has chosen me to be a part of it. This is the most important lesson about Mother's Day.
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